Coping

You might have a number of different feelings when you're told you have non-Hodgkin lymphoma (NHL). You may feel shocked and upset. You might also feel:

• numb
• frightened and uncertain
• confused
• angry and resentful
• guilty
• sad

You may have some or all of these feelings. Or you might feel totally different. Everyone reacts in their own way. Sometimes it's hard to take in the fact that you have cancer at all.

Experiencing different feelings is a natural part of coming to terms with cancer. All sorts of feelings are likely to come and go.

Coping physically

NHL and its treatment might cause physical changes in your body. These changes can be very difficult to cope with and can affect the way you feel about yourself. They can affect your self esteem and the way you relate to other people, especially close family and friends.

You might also have to cope with feeling very tired and lethargic a lot of the time, especially for a while after treatment, or if your NHL is advanced.

If you are having a sexual relationship, one or all of these changes may affect your sex life. 

Some of the treatments for NHL can cause an early menopause in some women, which means you can no longer have children. Some men also find that they are infertile after treatment. This can be very difficult to cope with.

Helping yourself

You may be more able to cope and make decisions if you have information about your type of cancer and its treatment. Information helps you to know what to expect.

Taking in information can be difficult, especially when you have just been diagnosed or given sad news about your outlook. Make a list of questions before you see your doctor. Take someone with you to remind you what you want to ask. They can also help you to remember the information that was given. Getting a lot of new information can feel overwhelming.

Ask your doctors and nurse specialists to explain things again if you need them to.

You might feel that you don’t want to know much information straight away. Tell your doctor or nurse. You will always be able to ask for more information when you feel ready.

Remember that you don’t have to sort everything out at once. It might take some time to deal with each issue. Ask for help if you need it.

You can also do practical things such as:

• making lists to help you
• having a calendar with all appointments
• having goals
• planning enjoyable things around weeks that might be emotionally difficult for you

Talking to other people

Talking to your friends and relatives about your cancer can help. But some people are scared of the emotions this could bring up. They might worry that you won't be able to cope with your situation.

It can strain relationships if your family or friends don't want to talk. But talking can help increase trust and support between you. Help your family and friends by letting them know you would like to talk about what’s happening and how you feel.

You might find it easier to talk to someone outside your own friends and family. Many people find counselling helpful.

CLIC Sargent can offer help and support for parents who have a child recently diagnosed or living with childhood cancer. They can also help you access financial support.

Coping practically

You and your family might need to cope with practical things including:

• money matters
• financial support, such as benefits, sick pay and grants
• work issues
• childcare
• Blue Badge applications
• help with travel costs
• changes to your house

Talk to your doctor or specialist nurse to find out who can help.  You might be able to get some benefits for yourself and the person caring for you. You might also be able to get grants for heating costs, holidays and other household expenses related to your illness.

Getting help early with these things can mean that they don’t become a big issue later. It may be helpful to see a social worker. Many hospital cancer departments have a social worker available for patients.