Coping and support when you have ovarian cancer
Coping with cancer can be difficult. Help and support are available. There are things you can do and people who can help you cope with a diagnosis of ovarian cancer.
Your feelings
You might have a number of different feelings when you're told you have cancer.
You may feel a range of powerful emotions at first such as feeling shocked, upset and find it difficult to take in anything else that is being said to you. Other emotions include feeling:
- numb
- frightened and uncertain
- confused
- angry and resentful
- guilty
- sad
You may have some or all of these feelings. Or you might feel totally different. You may feel them a few at a time or altogether, leaving you feeling exhausted.
Everyone reacts in their own way. Sometimes it's hard to take in the fact that you have cancer at all. You need to do what’s right for you to help you cope.
Helping yourself
You may be more able to cope and make decisions if you have information about your type of cancer and its treatment. Information helps you to know what to expect.
Taking in information can be difficult, especially when you have just been diagnosed or given news about your outlook. Make a list of questions before you see your doctor. Take someone with you to remind you what you want to ask. They can also help you to remember the information that was given. Getting a lot of new information can feel overwhelming.
Ask your doctors and nurse specialists to explain things again if you need them to.
You might feel that you don’t want to know much information straight away. Tell your doctor or nurse. You will always be able to ask for more information when you feel ready.
Remember that you don’t have to sort everything out at once. It might take some time to deal with each issue. Ask for help if you need it.
You can also do practical things such as:
- making lists to help you
- having a calendar with all appointments
- having goals
- planning enjoyable things around weeks that might be emotionally difficult for you
Talking to other people
Talking to your friends and relatives about your cancer can help and support you. But some people are scared of the emotions this could bring up and won’t want to talk. They might worry that you won't be able to cope with your situation or be afraid they will say the wrong thing.
It can strain relationships if your family or friends don't want to talk. But talking can help increase trust and support between you and them.
Help your family and friends by letting them know if you would like to talk about what’s happening and how you feel.
You might find it easier to talk to someone other than your own friends and family. We have cancer information nurses you can call on freephone 0808 800 4040, from 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday.
Or you may prefer to see a counsellor.
Physical problems
Treatments for ovarian cancer are likely to cause physical changes in your body. These might affect the way you feel about yourself.
Hair loss
Chemotherapy can cause hair loss, which for some women can be extremely upsetting and difficult to cope with. It can be a constant reminder of your cancer and what you’re going through.
It’s not unusual for people who have lost their hair to feel angry and depressed. You may feel worried about how your friends and family see you.
Remember that the people closest to you will not see you any differently as a person. They will want to support you as much as they can, so it is important to tell them how you’re feeling.
Surgery to remove your womb and ovaries
Having your ovaries and womb removed can be a very emotional experience, even if you were past the menopause when you were diagnosed. Your healthcare team will help support you and your partner if were planning on having children in the future, and can discuss your options.
Surgery will leave a scar on your tummy (abdomen), that will gradually fade with time. But it can be a reminder of what you have been through. Some women may feel self-conscious of it.
Hormonal changes
You will have a sudden menopause if you were still having periods before your surgery to remove both ovaries. This can cause symptoms, such as hot flushes and sweats. The symptoms can be quite intense as your hormone levels fall quickly. The effects can go on for a few months or years.
Having menopausal symptoms can be difficult to cope with. It can be hard to know whether your symptoms are due to your cancer and its treatment. Or whether they relate to the menopause. It might help to keep a diary or make a list of your symptoms. You can discuss these with your cancer doctor, clinical nurse specialist, GP or general practice nurse.
You can ask your GP surgery if there is a GP that specialises in the menopause. Or your GP may refer you to a specialist menopause clinic or a gynaecologist. They can help you find ways to cope.
Tiredness
Tiredness and weakness can be a problem during and after treatment. Resting but also doing some gentle physical activity can help.
Relationships and sex
The physical changes and emotional feelings you have can affect your relationships and sex life. There are things that you can do to manage this.
Coping practically and financially
You and your family might need to cope with practical things including:
- money matters
- financial support, such as benefits, sick pay and grants
- work issues
- childcare
- Blue Badge applications
- help with travel costs
- changes to your house
Talk to your doctor or specialist nurse to find out who can help. You might be able to get some benefits for yourself and the person caring for you. You might also be able to get grants for heating costs, holidays and other household expenses related to your illness.
Getting help early with these things can mean that they don’t become a big issue later. It may be helpful to see a social worker. Many hospital cancer departments have a social worker available for patients.
Support at home for you and your family
You might need some care and support at home due to ovarian cancer or its treatment. A lot of practical and emotional support is available to you.
GP and community nursing support
Your GP manages your healthcare when you are at home. They can help with any medical problems that come up. They can also make referrals to a community service for you. The availability of the different community services may vary, depending on where you live.
Community or district nurse
These nurses work in different places in your local area and may visit you in your home. They can:
-
give medicines or injections
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check temperature, blood pressure and breathing
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clean and dress wounds
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monitor or set up drips
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give emotional support
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teach basic caring skills to family members where needed
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get special equipment such as hospital beds, special mattresses, commodes or bed pans
Community services vary from area to area. Your hospital specialist nurse can tell you what is locally available to you.
Community specialist palliative care nurse
Community specialist palliative care nurses include Macmillan nurses and hospice nurses. They specialise in symptom management such as pain control, sickness, and other cancer symptoms. They also give emotional support to you and your carers.
Marie curie nurse
Marie Curie nurses give nursing care to people with advanced cancer in their own homes. They can visit during the day or spend the night in your home to give your carers a break.
Social workers
Social workers can help to support you with your situation at home. They can arrange:
- home helps to help with shopping or housework
- home care assistants for washing and dressing
- meals on wheels
- respite care
Your social worker can also help with money matters by checking you get all the benefits you are entitled to. Or they can advise you about charity grants for things like extra heating costs or special diets.
Contact a social worker yourself by getting in touch with your local social services office. Or ask your hospital nurse or your GP to refer you.
Local support services
There is usually other help available but services can vary from place to place.
Sometimes local voluntary groups offer sitting services. Someone comes to stay with you while your relative goes out.
Good neighbour schemes offer befriending or practical help with shopping or transport.
Local cancer support groups often offer practical help. And they are a good source of information about services in your area. Ask your doctor or nurse about local groups.
The NHS website has a service that tells you about local information and support.
