Coping with changes to how you look
It can be hard to accept changes to how you look. There are different things you can do and people who can help you cope.
Find out what to expect
Many people find that knowing about possible changes helps them deal with them later on. Talk to your doctor or clinical nurse specialist before you have treatment.
Talk to people close to you
The best source of support for most of us is family and friends. You may feel worried about upsetting them. But it can help to share your feelings and the people close to you will want to support you. And if the changes are causing problems with intimate relationships it can help to speak to your partner.
Talk to people who have had a similar experience
Some people find talking to other people who have been through something similar reassuring, but it isn't helpful for everyone. Talk to your doctor or clinical nurse specialist if you would like to do this. They might be able to put you in touch with someone who has been through a similar experience. Or they could let you know of any support groups that might be able to help.
Cancer Chat
Cancer Research UK has an online forum called Cancer Chat. You might find it helpful to join the forum to talk to other people who have had a similar experience.
Counselling
Sometimes counselling can help you to work through any worries you have.
Do things in your own time
It is important to give yourself time to adjust to changes to how you look. There may be things that are more difficult to cope with than others. Thinking about what will make it easier and making plans can help you cope.
For example, you might prefer to look at the changes to how you look for the first time alone. Or you may want someone to be with you when you look for the first time in the mirror.
And there will come a time when you will need to go out again. Going out will feel scary at first when you have changes to how you look, and it might be tempting to keep putting it off.
It might be helpful to go out the first time with someone you are very comfortable with. Try to be prepared for mixed reactions. People can react unexpectedly, especially if you don't know them well. Some people might be shocked and might not hide their shock. Others will be very at ease and make you feel comfortable very quickly.
Children can be very honest and might ask direct questions. It can help to be prepared for this.
Don't feel that you have to explain to people if you do not want to. After all, it's your body and you don't have to tell people what has happened if you don't want to.
Use wigs, hats and scarves
You can wear wigs, hats or scarves to cover hair loss. It is best to experiment and do what makes you feel the most confident.
A wig will cover hair loss and might help you feel more confident.
Using face make up
Make up can help you feel more confident and more like yourself. You can use it to define your eyes and eyebrows if you have lost them. Don’t worry if you’re not used to wearing and applying make up. It will become easier with practice.
Use camouflage make up
Camouflage make up can be very useful to cover scars or skin grafts that are different colours. There are lots of colours for all skin tones. There are some specially trained skin camouflage experts that work in the NHS. Ask your doctor or nurse if you have this in your hospital.
Some organisations can give you information about using camouflage make up. They can teach you how to apply it and tell you about the best products to buy. Some want a healthcare professional to refer you. Others allow you to refer yourself.
Changing Faces provide support and information for people who have any form of facial disfigurement including disfigurement caused by cancer. They also provide a skin camouflage service for people in England and Scotland. Trained volunteers teach people how to apply specialist cover creams.
Phone: 0300 0120 275 (support and advice line)
Head office email: info@changingfaces.org.uk
The contact details for the skin camouflage service are:
Phone: 0300 0120 276
Email: skincam@changingfaces.org.uk
Getting the make up
You can buy some camouflage make up over the pharmacy counter or direct from the supplier. Others you might be able to get on prescription from your GP. This isn’t guaranteed though. Your GP can tell you what might be available on prescription.
Getting help and support
There are people who can help and support you. Not everyone feels comfortable asking for help. Talk to someone you trust. You can ask your specialist nurse, doctor, GP, dietitian or physiotherapist for support.
